Well – I’m still pregnant! And I am happy to say that I have a better attitude about it now than I did last week. Last week I was just SO ready to get him out, and while I am still very excited for that, I am more content with the idea of him cooking a little while longer until he is ready to come out. Like, it must be terrifying to just be expelled from somewhere you have been so cozy for the past 10 months – right?! Plus – I’m not even at my due date yet (it is October 1), so until then I feel like I just have to be patient.
As of yesterday, I am 39 weeks pregnant and our baby is the size of a pumpkin. My eyes got so wide when I read that on my app – that just seems way too big. I do feel huge, but I guess I don’t feel like I have something the size of a pumpkin inside of me? It will be so interesting to see his actual size when he is *eventually* born.
I had another prenatal appointment yesterday where we discussed a lot of things that made me feel much more confident about the actual labor and delivery process. Not that I have ever really been nervous about it or have had expectations one way or the other, but I am just very curious about the whole process. My midwife told me a lot about induction if we get to that point, timing of an epidural if I decide to get one, eating and drinking during labor (I can! Thank goodness.), and what the next steps are if I am still pregnant next week at 40 weeks. As of now I have appointments scheduled next Tuesday and Thursday, but my fingers are crossed that I won’t be at either of them and we will already be home with our little buddy. One can dream, right?
Here are my 39 week progress pictures:
I am feeling pretty much the same as I talked about last week, except I have definitely been feeling more aches and pains in my abdomen than before. I guess I still have no idea what a contraction really feels like, but I know that my whole stomach tightens like crazy sometimes and other times I feel period-like cramps. So I suppose those are both signs that things are moving in the right direction? Neither of them are particularly painful though. I have still had a fair amount of energy in the mornings, but am just over life by like 3pm each day. It still hurts like crazy whenever I stand up – it feels like the baby’s head is pressing directly on my pelvic bones, and it takes a minute for things to feel right again. My hands have also been pretty sore lately and my nose has been all stuffed up, which from everything I have read are both random, but common symptoms at this point.
Nothing has changed either with my workouts or eating habits. I’m still just trying to move as much as possible and truly I am eating whatever I want, whenever I want. A lot of the time I do crave fruits and vegetables, but there is also that point that happens every night when I just want dessert. I know that after our baby boy is born I am going to be pretty focused on staying as healthy as possible for breastfeeding, but losing the baby weight, too, so I am certainly enjoying all these extra treats while I can.
I really thought at this point that I would be nervous about delivering a baby. While I do get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it, I think those are coming more from a place of curiosity than from a place of fear. Deep down I know that there is really not much I can control about the whole process, and like I mentioned above, I am really going into it with minimal expectations. I am working with a team of midwives that I just adore and trust entirely, so I’m banking on them doing their job and helping me through it as seamlessly as possible!
It still doesn’t seem real to me that any day now Chris and I will be in charge of a baby. A real, live human. That is ours for the rest of forever. It’s totally not my nature as a type-A personality, but I have been trying my hardest not to over-think or plan this pregnancy and just take it one step at a time. I feel like I have done a really good job with that, and it has led me to this point where I am about to have a baby, but I don’t feel like it. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, but I don’t think I will believe it until I am holding our little guy in my arms. Or to even see Chris holding him. I think that will freak both of us out (I say that in the best way possible) more than anything!
Also, I just love medical stuff so much, that I am weirdly excited to go to the hospital. Does that sound insane? I have been relatively healthy my whole life and have never really been under medical care, so this is a brand new ball game for me. We’ll see if I still love medical shows and talk so much after this experience, but right now I am actually looking forward to it a lot.
My one goal for my labor and delivery process is to remain as mindful as possible. I want to actually be in that moment and process and remember as much as possible, because this is about to be the craziest thing I have ever done (I think). I’m still not sure how anyone is just allowed to have a baby (myself included!), but I suppose I am about to find out…. 🙂
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